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May 30 Do not call us, we will call youWhen a stranger call..
The phone usually stays idle in our household, but on one occassion when I was out gardeninging and enjoying the retirement that I had work so hard to get, I got a call."Hello, Mr. Chee, this is Memar. do you remember me." After I studdered a bit, and him and haw, I said that of the many students that I had, I just can't recall who you are. In fact it was only 4000 students that I have taught and while I was teaching I would remember all their names, brothers and sister, and what their parents did. But on this occasion, dementia had set in . "Memar, you remembered, I was the one who gave you the cigarette paper. " Yes, cigarette paper, I remembered that one, it was a cigarette paper that pencil shaving in it, wrapped to look like illegal drug. " I have finished law school for a few years now and I got a buyer for your property."
Time passes, and after 25 years as I think back to the situation, I remembered that he had lost my property to the bank and I lost all my money in turn in the situation. I really do not regret the lost, but what is really troubling for me is the fact that I did not instill enough value in the former student. After the business venture, I have not heard from him. Still feeling responsible for him, I hope that one day he will learn his lesson.
Moral: Should the phone ring, remember that a hello should only be a hello, and nothing more.
May 29 Counting on youWatch this, daddy, my daughter said, as she took a cottonswab and placed it on fold of her bellybutton. She bent over and said "look, it disappeared, just kidding!" and showed me the cottonswab. No trick at all, no illusion, just her sense of hyper activity. It is surprising to see a young girl of 10 with so much energy that sometimes its amazing that she is not bouncing off the walls in every direction. I tried to calm her down and ask her to help her mother clear the table after eating, to which she replied, "I can't do that, I need to finish my game on the computer." I know it would be useless to argue with her and immediately resort to counting, which is her signal to obey immediately or lose computer time. So in an effort to offset that demand, my daughter would quickly make another proposal to elude the first request. This will continue, until the number 2 is present which indicates that time is short and when 3 is said, then she will lose computer time. As you can imagine this takes no longer than 3 seconds, but in that interim period many emotions and actions take place. So, herein lies the dilemma, how to control and how to release control. Rules are set and norms are presented with expectations to be met, both by the adult and the child. If the adult can, rather should, maintain a calm and steady enforcement of the request, then the child will tend to obey. But if the rules are waivered and yielded, then the expectations are now not certain, for both the adult and the child. So my daughter is expecting to win the battle of wits and proposals, but I will not yield and continue counting until my 3 is said or she yields and does what was requested. Herein the adult can control the time and the expectation. Moral: The adult should be the adult and expect the child to do the right thing. May 27 If you haven't you will..At 65 and waiting patiently for the sun to set, there is not really that much that would make this grown man cry. Every so often I would lose a friend and I would cry, and when my best crystal is dropped on the concrete, I may shed a tear. But today without a reason or a warning, tears started to roll down my cheeks. It was one of those occasions when a certain a sound seems to penetrate to the back of my skull and vibrate the nerves in that part of the brain that loosen the tear pods. It was the singing of Charice Pempengco, 15 year old pop singer. Her voice was clear and crisp, and the words were spoken with exact diction. From her lung the song came out with strong emotion. And after listening to her, I search the web for other songs she had sung and found that she was quite a singer, in the Philippine, Korea, and the US. Since her debut, she has been promoted in many events. Herein is the balance between happiness and sadness. At 15, the world is amazed at the power of a great voice coming out of such a small child. But at 15, Charice is still a child. If she is going to be displayed and perhaps exploited for her talent, lets hope that she will be well rewarded and protected by those who truly love her. There have been many incidents of great and talented children that have come and gone, and their sad endings are exploited by tabloids. Moral: greatness comes to those who deserve it, but greed and malice soon find partners in the act. Communication goes a long waySusan would run into my room almost every other day. I was a school teacher and Susan was one of my speech students. But it was not speech that Susan needed help with. She needed someone to hear and listen to her problems. Like all teenagers looking for meaning in life and trying to make sense with relationships with friends and parents, she wanted advice. We all seem to forget that these adult looking people are still children in adult surroundings. Their experiences are from their childhood and guidance is very important to them. If I act and talk like an adult they would not listen to me, and if I acted and talk like one of them, they would not need me. So I needed to be somewhere between the two worlds they knew. They really needed a friend, someone who was experienced and knew more than their true age friends. On this particular day, Susan had been upset with her parents fighting and arguments. She was caught in the middle, they were tugging on her to see who was the most right. She tried to mediate, but being inexperience, she felt that she was of no help to the situation. She also knew that I was a good friend to her father and she did not want me to tell her father that she had talked to me. A couple days later, Susan's father called and wanted to have coffee. I went and toward the end, he asked me what Susan knew and felt about the fact that he and his wife were arguing about. So, herein lies my situation, if I answered her father I would eventually lose Susan's trust and if I did not I would lose my friends friendship. There are no easy answers to these types of dilemma. I told her father that Susan came to me to talk about her problems. She was upset and wanted some advice and I explained that her age she would feel that she is responsible for the situation she was experiencing, but not to worry, she was not. I also told her dad that Susan came to me entrusting that I would keep her information in confidence and that if I should tell, then I would lose her trust. I asked him to talk to Susan and learn about her feelings and try to be her friend as well as parent. There is no advice that will be beneficial to all parties, there may be a winner, but in doing so, there surely will be a loser. Communication is the best answer for all relationships. Moral: Trust like milk once spilled is hard to recapture. May 26 What does sincerety have to do with it?Love or annoyance. Sandy is like any girl at the age of 10. She enjoys music, to which she listens constantly on Youtube, and even at times she mimics the song by singing along. She is not concern about the way her desk, where she does her homework, is kept, seemingly the messier, the better. Her bed is unmade, her clothes is all over the room and for the most part, responsibility is not part of her vocabulary. But now others are beginning to sense that this girl-child is no longer a baby that they once knew and others will come to expect more out of Sandy. After a while the mess that Sandy made is begininng to be annoying and she will be asked to pick up after herself. So for Sandy, she realizes that being the cute cuddly baby may need to give way to the adventure into teenage years. But Sandy will try just once more to capture her babyhood. As mom and dad begin to lay down the rules, Sandy blurbs out "I love you" and blinks her eyes three times. The mom looks at her for second and then gives in and continues to pick up after Sandy. This seemingly works well for Sandy and she soon discover a new coping tool that she can carry forth to her teenage years. So when dad demands that she stops playing on the computer and help her mom with the setting of the table, she calmly says "I love you". This works well until several weeks later, the effect does not seem to take effect. The "I love you" has worn thin and reality sets in. Dad and mom catches on and sincerety makes way for annoyance. "Young lady, that doesn't work, so go do what you are told". So now Sandy must leave behind a short but happy chapter in her life and grow up. Moral: Does love have to end with "I love you"? Talking about Stop it
Quote Stop it Best PerformanceHave you ever looked at a baby's face? What is your first impression, what are you looking at, and what is looking at you? Yes, the eyes, is where all the information is going back and forth. You are getting and receiving information and at the same time doing the same for the baby. The eyes are at work.
What kind of signals are going back and forth, feelings of concern, food, help, nurturing, and the essential bonding between baby and adult. It is here that one feels he needs to care for the toddler/baby or leave it alone. In this very few seconds the interaction begins. The sustain reactions would be a smile, an attempt to get attention from both parties. Sounds are exchange by the baby and the adult, each has his own language.
From the scientific studys performed on babies, it has been determined that if the adult sends quiet/soft spoken words to the child, not baby gibberish, the child will assimulate the information and develop learning very quickly. It will find that its needs are satisfied and he will conform to whomever is delivering the message.
Moral: Baby talk is out, and adult talk is in. Stop it
My daughter has a nickname for my grandson, Stop It. Every other word is punctuated with Stop It. Now the only response the kid has is to see if the words Stop It is there before he continues on with his actions. If the words are not there, he goes on doing what he likes and if the words are there, he stops what he is doing and waits a few second before his mischievious nature takes him off into another direction. So begins the life and development of the human child, a combination of digital stops which eventually stretches out into a series of analog practices that forms his/her life. As children turn into young adults, their lives are governed by adults who tell them the things they must do. The youngster pieces together these series of request into a flowing pattern until they make sense in his life, a series of digital request that forms an analog picture of a persons life. So, now as an adult there are fewer request from others as to what one should, or need to do, and the only request are from either employers or mates. Patterns set in and one begins to appreciate his analog life and does not think about his digital life until. Until is the time that problems begin to develop. Problems are when issues that one has not ever experience comes into his life. These problems could be a lost of value/money, lost of mate/social relations, lost of family, etc. In an analog world this is a disruption of ones life. People go into tail spins and struggle to find meaning in problems, yet all the time they wish for answers. they may turn to a sold foundation of religious precedent or to others who have experienced the same problems. But how they take these advice from others, will depend upon how they come out of their tailspin. The many religious sects would tell on to pray, meditate, surround one in silence, and pause. This is where the digital phenomenal comes back into play in ones life. “Stop it” is only 20 or 30 years ago when ones care taker caution one to take heed of what he needed to pay attention to. One needs to realize that his analog actions and life need to take a back seat to his digital teachings. Stop, look, and listen and become you own voice from the past, pay heed, repair the problem and move on. With no expectationWhen in the course of human events, one places so much expectation or have no expectation in another, we are pleasantly surprised, a little glow of bliss surrounds us. June, my 10 year old daughter, surprised me not only in her writing but in her depth of understanding in her own work. So I would like to share some of her work with others. Vigil Every day by her husband’s grave. She stands, with no one to talk to Except those who will not talk back.
She has not passed, though She knows as her statue stands By her husband’s grave, Someday his statue will stand by hers.
Mirror I am a deceiving object. I have the ability to make people Young again. Most of the time I am bright and pure. I have seen always the young, Never the old.
I realize I am a liar. I am not truthful. In me is a gray heart. I give people what they want, But I have to lie to do it.
Moral: Excellent is never where expect to be, when you expect it. turn back timeI remember when I was…. The USS United States is a great cruise liner. No, it is the fastest cruise liner, and it represents the US entry into the commercial liner industry. Not really, it does not exist any more. It is now “mothball” in a port in the US, not to be used any more. During the 1950s, in its maiden voyage, The USS US was the fastest liner around. Its purpose was to carry troups around the world in a wartime event, but practically speaking it would serve to carry passenger around the globe in one of the fastest vessel that sailed the ocean. It represent the pride of the American ship industry due to its speed. But a short 17 years after its maiden voyage, it was put up and kept out of commission due to rising operation cost. So, lost and not forgotten, the ship rest on bobbing waters, until the builders heirs, sons and grandchildren of the ships operators, and passengers are now calling for a revival of the ships services. In the past these people enjoyed the thrill, romance, and time when cares and feelings were put aside for just a brief time. While that long by gone days are wispfully thought about the issue of trying to bring back that moment is still being debated. Money is a strange by product of lost memories. Once we experience a content and happy sensation, we always long to bring it back, if not only to capture it in a time capsule and preserve it forever. Time move on, different factors affect a different point in time, too many factors. And to try to recapture a certain time would be unreasonable to have happen. Each factor changes another factor until the myriad factors that once came together, now no long exist. So to think that we can capture a moment in time when we are most contented and happy is not going to happen. Live each moment like it will never happen again, enjoy the time that one is involved in, for good times and bad times, and then move on. Use the mental snapshot call memory to capture the moment because it is impossible to turn back time. moral: live now, live well, live forever in your memory. |
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